“Narcissists want to be the centre of attention. They will boast, brag and tell exaggerated stories
about themselves to make out that they are brilliant. They will often mix lies with truths or
half-truths which may make it difficult to catch them out.”
about themselves to make out that they are brilliant. They will often mix lies with truths or
half-truths which may make it difficult to catch them out.”
Engaging in a conversation with a narcissist can leave someone feeling like banging their head
against a brick wall. This may sound like an exaggeration; but, in truth, a brick wall may possess
the same levels of empathy, understanding, and validation that a narcissist does. Why?
Because these people couldn’t care less about what you’re saying; no matter the logic or
meaningfulness behind your intended dialogue.
against a brick wall. This may sound like an exaggeration; but, in truth, a brick wall may possess
the same levels of empathy, understanding, and validation that a narcissist does. Why?
Because these people couldn’t care less about what you’re saying; no matter the logic or
meaningfulness behind your intended dialogue.
Conversing with a narcissist can be described in four ways . . .
Confusing, Dizzying, Infuriating and Meaningless.
As for the effects of such conversations, narcissistic people possess the innate “gift” of shifting
any sense of their own insecurity and unworthiness to anyone who will listen. Apparently, the
oft-felt repercussions of conversing with a narcissist leave the victim (and victims, they are) feeling
far worse off than having become involved in a conversation with such a character in the first place.
any sense of their own insecurity and unworthiness to anyone who will listen. Apparently, the
oft-felt repercussions of conversing with a narcissist leave the victim (and victims, they are) feeling
far worse off than having become involved in a conversation with such a character in the first place.
Another “talent” of narcissists is evoking a sense of blame, doubt, and uncertainty – all primary
objectives of such a deluded, manipulative individual.
objectives of such a deluded, manipulative individual.
Make no mistake; narcissists know exactly what they’re doing. Not only are they privy to their
ambitions, but narcissists also experience an elevated sense of superiority and invincibility for
having duped someone else.
One underlying trait of almost all narcissists is the need to be at the centre of attention.
The psychological term for this insatiable necessity is “narcissistic supply,” or the need for
continual reaffirmation of self-perceived value. In this article, we narrow the focus to the
conversational.
There are more than a few tell-tale signs of narcissism from a conversational perspective.
In particular, some commonly exhibited behaviours or narcissists that illustrate their irrational
desires to be at the centre of attention.
In particular, some commonly exhibited behaviours or narcissists that illustrate their irrational
desires to be at the centre of attention.
Here are five behaviours that narcissists exhibit
to become the centre of attention:
1. Reverse Projection
Before knowing that we’re in the company of a narcissist, we’ll relate to the person as if they’re
rational human beings. As we don’t purposely deceive or manipulate people, we innately trust
that others will reciprocate such qualities. However, when this trust is violated, we’ll often feel
confused, hurt and – in a way – responsible for the narcissist’s behaviour. The horrible thing is
that this is exactly what narcissistic people want. Without diligent caution, a narcissist can
quickly “twist the conversation,” making you take on the burden of guilt. Meanwhile, the
narcissist subtly reverses reality of the situation and takes on the role of an innocent victim.
In other words, they reverse roles.
rational human beings. As we don’t purposely deceive or manipulate people, we innately trust
that others will reciprocate such qualities. However, when this trust is violated, we’ll often feel
confused, hurt and – in a way – responsible for the narcissist’s behaviour. The horrible thing is
that this is exactly what narcissistic people want. Without diligent caution, a narcissist can
quickly “twist the conversation,” making you take on the burden of guilt. Meanwhile, the
narcissist subtly reverses reality of the situation and takes on the role of an innocent victim.
In other words, they reverse roles.
2. Incessant blaming
Narcissists will intently switch sensitive topics (e.g., work responsibilities) to divert your attention.
They do so to put you in a defensive position, regardless of merit behind such tactics. They’ll
interrogate, focusing on any and all real or perceived faults.
They do so to put you in a defensive position, regardless of merit behind such tactics. They’ll
interrogate, focusing on any and all real or perceived faults.
In turn, you’ll rightly defend yourself. Meanwhile, the narcissist will continue to hammer away at
their inconceivable notion about you “being in the wrong.” Concurrently, they’ll refuse any
accountability for their behaviour and leave you in a resistive state. All the while, they’ll justify
their “blame game” by pointing their fingers at you for having created any drama or problems in
the relationship
their inconceivable notion about you “being in the wrong.” Concurrently, they’ll refuse any
accountability for their behaviour and leave you in a resistive state. All the while, they’ll justify
their “blame game” by pointing their fingers at you for having created any drama or problems in
the relationship
3. Shock and awe
When a narcissist apparently displays anger or rage, it is their intention to bully you into
submission. This is an enigma, as narcissists typically don’t exhibit such vocal or physical
behaviours.
submission. This is an enigma, as narcissists typically don’t exhibit such vocal or physical
behaviours.
The intent here is to confuse and intimidate their victim. Rational people, especially those not
usually accustomed to such outbursts, may become confused and intimidated. As a result, the
victim may let down their defences and become susceptible to suggestion.
usually accustomed to such outbursts, may become confused and intimidated. As a result, the
victim may let down their defences and become susceptible to suggestion.
A weakened state is what the narcissist wants, as it leaves you vulnerable to their unquenchable
need for control and dominance.
need for control and dominance.
4. Playing the victim
Deceitful people love playing the victim, and narcissists certainly fall under this category.
Narcissists accomplish this by garnering undeserving pity. The tragedy is that this manipulative
tactic is executed at the expense of another – a person who is often the deserved recipient of good
will from others.
Narcissists accomplish this by garnering undeserving pity. The tragedy is that this manipulative
tactic is executed at the expense of another – a person who is often the deserved recipient of good
will from others.
Though narcissists are an emotionally-neutral group, they acutely understand the power of human
empathy. This knowledge is used to counter any real or perceived “threat” to their self-glossed
superior standing. In the event that they hurt someone, they’ll take on a defence position
this often involves the emotional manipulation those close to you.
empathy. This knowledge is used to counter any real or perceived “threat” to their self-glossed
superior standing. In the event that they hurt someone, they’ll take on a defence position
this often involves the emotional manipulation those close to you.
5. Interrupting
Narcissists have an insatiable desire to be the centre of attention at all times.
When the topic at hand does not involve them, they’ll quickly interrupt the dialogue and attempt
to refocus the conversation back to themselves. If someone vehemently interjects, attempting to
redirect the conversation, they’re quickly neutralised by the narcissist and rendered to silence.
to refocus the conversation back to themselves. If someone vehemently interjects, attempting to
redirect the conversation, they’re quickly neutralised by the narcissist and rendered to silence.
This is a narcissist’s optimal result. Should such a malignant attempt fail, the individual will
immediately be placed on the narcissist’s “hit list” – a perceived threat to be dealt with according
to the narcissist’s distorted view on what’s truly important…them and them only.
immediately be placed on the narcissist’s “hit list” – a perceived threat to be dealt with according
to the narcissist’s distorted view on what’s truly important…them and them only.
Not my words although I did a tiny edit in a few places for readability purposes
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