CLiPiCs HeART: The Musings of a man growing old . . . Disgracefully

Down the years I have mused about my life, my friends, and other things in general,

What follows is that meandering musing,

some of it real, some not, but all of it heartfelt

this is set out in a kind of chronological order, or as close to it as doesn't matter

Welcome to the musing of a man growing old as disgracefully as possible :-)

If you are of a nervous disposition (or datposition)
please be advised that some of the content on this page is of an adult nature

Art

Art is ARt is ART,

And as such it will be confrontational to someone,

And will at some point in its existence,

Piss someone off every minute of the day

( CLiPiCs AKA Kriss Lee: 03-06-09)

Index:

The Art of Darkness, Pulling the legs off Ants, Helpless, I Loved You, Bookending,

First Kisses, A Friend in Need, Breathe, Broken, The Sneer in Your Eyes,

She Watches Over Me, Retreat, One Day, Lying In Your Arms, Shattered, Cast Adrift,

Words Upon a Screen, Torn to Shreds, Xmas Tears, To Sleep, The Smile on My Face,

You say You're Fat. I Try To Be Me, My Son, We are Friends, It Ain't a Sin Heartstrings, Sweetlips, Cherished Freedom, Lose The Dress,You make me Cry, Right Now,

North and South, Multitude, Falling Deeper, Smitten, Fling, Why,

I Know, Song in my head, Flustered, Under the Desert Stars, Couplets, Musings, Cold Snap, Hair, You remind me, Looking into your eyes, Oft I wondered, Shut Up, Balcony, Children,

I Can’t Wait, The Helper, Looking, But that’s not it, I love you, Sagging, Ramnaugh, Motel 6,

I can still taste your mouth, Hello, Flower, Anchored, Impaled, Whispered I Love You’s, In you, Ribs, Pedestal, Coda, Distraction, Private space, Begin the dance, If you fell, Why am I sitting here, Parental Guidance / Fuck Me, First Date, Sneak, Darkness from night, Call me, You’re you, Groined, Smile, Classless as fuck, Inside I cry, Addendum, Standstill, The loser has to fall, River, Screen Kisses, Jelly, Unbidden, Mudlarks, They ! What f I came knocking, Vrooooom, Mutual Smiles, You say I am in your thoughts, It’s all about you,

The Great War, “The war to end all wars”

Just another Father, Eyes, Sometimes, Excuse me sir, Epitaph, Wonderful night, Here, Scars,

Someone to love you, At peace, Shovel, Waves, You are my “Someone Nice”, Weeping, Smile, Skype, Important, Homeward Journeys, Lilies and Landmines, Knickers, Eyes, Sometimes, Response, Decrees of Tears,

My inspiration for words comes from the awesome Leonard Cohen,

And in particular this piece,

A Thousand Kisses Deep, Leonard Cohen

Interview with CLiPiCs

The Art of Darkness

When you offer up your heart and soul

And pour yourself into a relationship

Only to have it spat back into your face

And your heart ripped out and trampled under foot

Right before your own eyes

And when you attempt any kind of damage limitation

To be laughed at almost hysterically

Leaving you to hide in a dark corner

With the tears streaming down your face

Feeling every raw nerve being scraped again and again

And yet you go on hoping for better

Optimistically hoping for sunrise

When in reality there is only the night and darkness

The darkness of her nasty mouth and wicked laugh

In it all there is one glimmer of light,

The children you made are beautiful and bright

And young as they are they can see the truth

As you retreat further you feel it stir

Deep inside it fights back

Your spirit, that wonderful human thing

It’s still there unbroken, just a little bent

So you escape into your art

And pour into it your heart

But art has a dark side too

And it can bite you opening up the wounds

Making you raw once again

Facing the darkness from within your light

And so yet again you retreat into the night

...............deeper and DEEPER into Darkness

Pulling the legs off ants

The trouble with small minded, self-centred bigots, is the inability to see the truth of the wider universe, the one that doesn’t revolve around their pathetic little selves

To be so afraid of the reality of the world that they have to hide behind the so called “power” of their bitter words and twisted minds

to live a life in constant fear of the unknown, fear of other cultures, sexual preferences, hell even poetry is scary for the small minded as they don’t understand it, so it must be feared and hated, just like the blacks are hated, the gays are hated, and the “towel heads” are hated, and anyone with a different point of view are hated

The inability to understand that others see the world in a much more beautiful light and can see the truth in other people’s feelings and views

The world is full of beautiful people, all willing to share and enjoy others views, cultures and generosity of soul

what terrible shallow lives to lead, that the beauty of other minds has to be shackled for them to enjoy their feeble little selves, how great a victory, to trap such beautiful souls merely to satisfy their own selfish needs, to feel pride in watching one more shining beacon of beauty extinguished, leaving the world darker, bringing it ever closer to their dark little twisted minds

It just reminds me of the nasty little spoilt child pulling the legs off an ant for the fun of it

For all the sweet souls trapped in a prison of hatred and fear

Written for a female friend who survived twenty five years of this kind of marriage

Helpless

I sit and watch as the sadness seeps into the face before me

Watching with growing desperation as the face slowly crumples like tissue

Feel the aching in my heart as the eyes start to redden

Seeing the tears well up in the sockets until with a sob they overflow

Spilling out onto the cheeks leaving streaks in the dirt

As they course down the face of utter despair

Washing over the quivering lips from which escapes yet more sobbing

Falling like raindrops from the chin to splash upon the floor

My hearts aches and breaks

And I want to reach out and cuddle and comfort the tortured soul before me

Helplessly I find I can offer no solace

I turn my back with a heavy heart

And walk away from the mirror

Kriss Lee ( CLiPiCs ) 27/08/09

I Loved You

I loved you

You were sweet

You were fun

You were hot

You pulled the world from under my feet

You might as well have used a gun

On my life’s landscape you became a blot

I loved you

When I saw you my heart would race

You made me shiver and shake

You made dark skies brighten

Now I can’t look in your face

Now my heart is one big ache

Now you make my throat tighten

I loved you

I thought you were the best

The fun we had in our bed

I was so happy you were my wife

You ripped my heart from my chest

Now I just wish you outta my head

Just get the fuck outta my life

I loved you

Now I don’t even like you

Bookending

I feel that I have bared the darker moments of my life of late, and it is time to redress the balance a little, I am in truth, like most, a complex creature capable of deep dark moments and thoughts, I am also, as some here will testify, a cheeky little sod !

But there is another side of me too, the side of me that sees beauty in many things, from my children, to a cloud in the sky

So as a kind of Bookend to I Loved You

Definitely a dark image for the emotions it has stirred not just in myself but in all the people who have read it, to Helpless the darkest moment of all, when you realise there is nothing to do except ride out the storm of your mind and emotions

the good thing that comes from these darker moments is the reawakening of the truths of how wonderful life can be, the emotions these moments bring to the fore are real, and the desire to share them is too,

Bookending

Wrapped in your arms and listening to your breathing

Lying on your sweet breasts feeling them move under my head as you breathe

With my arm across your belly and my hand curled around your hip

I can feel your breath in my hair as you talk

I will wallow in the wonderful moment of being with you

Feeling each other just being there

Listening to your voice in your chest and in my ears

Running my hand gently across your stomach and tracing every sweet contour

Moving it lower and just brushing the edges of your hair

Sliding my hand gently into the sweet little crease between groin and thigh

And still the aroma of our lovemaking fills the air

Feeling the warmth of you on my fingers the tenderness of your touch

Kissing you gently where my head rests on your chest

Feeling your warm breasts give as my head turns to let me kiss your sweet soft skin

Your leg on mine touching all the way along our bodies

Oh dear god to feel you on every inch of me

To feel your warmth

Your love

Oh dear god to feel you on every inch of me

To feel your soft skin on my face

On my lips

On my tongue

Your warmth and tenderness and caring and sweetness

I want you now, to be safe where you belong in my arms,

In my bed curled up warm and comfortable

With my hands on you stroking and caressing your tired body

And relaxing you into peace and calm

Where you and I can love each other without hurry

Knowing that when we are done we can begin again

With our deep seated desire for each other

Just a touch here,

A caress there

A breathy kiss here

A whispered I love you against your skin

Even though tired, making love in such a gentle way with each other

Just to be joined

Just to be as one

Just to share each other

To surrender wholeheartedly to the joy of being in each other’s arms

To give it all up

No more walls

No more barriers to hide behind

To be completely free and open

To let you deep inside of me to where the real “I” is

To let you wrap the real “I” in your love and nurture it

To reach deep inside of you and feel your heart beating in my grasp

To hold your fragile heart in my hands and cradle it

With such tenderness and care like a new-born

To keep it safe from harm and let it grow again

To hold it tenderly and wash it clean with my tears of love and joy

Wash away all of the taints placed upon it before me

To mend the broken areas

To feel it beating stronger with every touch of my love

To feel it begin to warm in response to my touch

Feeling the warmth radiate from within

And bathe in the glorious waves of love pouring from it

To bask in the glow of you and your love

To let my tears flow because they don’t belong here anymore

Washing away all of the previous hurt we’ve had to endure

To lie washed up on the sunkissed shore of loves sweet paradise

Kriss Lee ( CLiPiCs ) 28/08/09 02:00

First Kisses

Four passionate kisses . . .

The first kiss .

Would be right on the top of your head,

As you fall into my arms in an airport arrivals hall

Full of the tenderness and love I feel for you

The second kiss . .

Would be the most passionate full on the lips exploration of your mouth and soul

“First kiss” you ever had in your whole life,

One that would stay with you till the day you die

As you feel all of my love pour into your soul

The third kiss . . .

Would be on the inside of my own fingertips,

Which I would then take and place against your heart

To feel it beating against my kiss

The fourth kiss . . . .

Would be against the inside of the hotel room door

My lips caressing yours with my body pressed against you

So you feel the kiss everywhere our bodies meet

Your heart and mine synchronize

Beating to the same rhythms

Sending our love coursing through our veins

As our souls mesh unfettered,

And our love is released

Unburdened by responsibility

Four passionate kisses . . . For the Romantics X X

A Friend in need

A friend in need

Is a friend indeed

Or so you plead

As my money you bleed

Friends like you

Are what make me blue

As you write another IOU

Not another penny for you

A friend in need

Is a friend indeed

Or so you plead

A friend like you I don’t need

Breathe

In Out

In OUT

You suck the oxygen from my life

IN OUT

Dear god . . . control, don’t lash out

IN OUT

Your nasty tongue, whips across my soul again

IN OUT

Hate filled words, causing me pain

IN OUT

You attack me yet again, and I stand here bewildered

IN OUT

Why do you do this, what drives you to be so mean?

IN OUT

You ask, I do, not good enough for you

Breathe dammitt

IN OUT

Where is all the air, why are you so unfair

IN OUT

I turn my back, and walk away

IN OUT

Followed by yet more bile, more vitriol, so vile

IN OUT

Gently I close the door, and walk away once more

IN OUT

My stomach in a knot, and my heart in my boots

IN OUT

Down to the river, and stare into the water

IN OUT

Thoughts unbidden come to mind, who would care what they find

IN OUT

The river just goes on and ignores me, flowing gently past on its way to the sea

IN OUT

The ducks come to see, does he have bread for me ?

IN OUT

I stare unseeing at first, but their beauty starts to penetrate

IN OUT

Their trust in me not to harm, I raise my head and look about

IN out

I take in the view, and see the beauty all around

IN out

The sun is shining, and the birds sing

IN out

And once again my battered heart takes wing

In . . . . out . . . .

Broken

Raw and bare

To discover there is no care

You fall to the floor

Unable to take more

Betrayed and broken

The love was only token

And with a friend

It feels like the end

We all make mistakes

And our hearts break

But your friends feel your pain

And rally to make you well again

You are treasured for your soul

And we want you to be whole

Your friends are here for you

From a heart that is true

For a friend betrayed

The Sneer in Your Eyes

The sneer in your eyes

Exposing all the lies

Feeling you watching me and waiting to pounce

Looking at the empty bottle, wishing for an ounce

The twisted things you say

You think they'll make me stay

When all they do is drive me further away

You play the injured one

And I think of the things you've done

Many years ago, it should have ended

And like a fool, you I defended

All the rows and the anger

The violence and the danger

Who the fuck is you stranger?

But now, heaven knows

I stood and I took the blows

All the years of drunkenness and deception,

Not there for the birth, but oh yeah, for the conception

Where were you when the lights went out?

In a bar with my money, being the big gadabout

And the phone didn't work, all I could do was shout

I am done with your lies and your bullshit

No longer will I stand here and be hit

It’s over now, I'm done with you

Shaking you off, like a dose of the flu

It’s time for me to move on with my life

Time to stop being your chattel, your wife

And time to put an end to all the strife

Never was this about our family

Never did you even consider me

Told me the kids made you proud

And yet at them you rail so loud

You spend all your life in a violent rage

Keeping us trapped, with your words, in a verbal cage

But all you have done is to make me brave

Now this bird will fly free

Flying away as the real me

Leaving you to reflect

On your lack of respect

Go away with your tail between your legs

No longer will I listen to your begs

Leaving you with your life of dregs

Written for a female friend who survived twenty five years of this kind of marriage

She Watches Over Me

Retreat

The lash of your tongue

Cuts into my soul

Deep, sharp and long

Leaving a gaping hole

I weep as I bleed

Watch my spirit leak

In your eyes your need

To make me weak

You think you can win

You think I am beat

Twisting the knife of sin

Your ire burns with fierce heat

You scream like a fishwife

Not caring who hears

You try to destroy my life

And laugh at my tears

My wounds will heal

No matter how you contrive

While your spirit congeals

I know I will survive

Through slittted eyes

I watch as you sneer

And you spit more lies

You can’t harm me in here

Here in the warm and the dark

You rave and you rant and howl

Here I kindle and tend to the spark

Fanning the flames of my soul

I lie curled in a foetal ball

Your wordstorm batters my ears

But you can’t touch me at all

Because in here I have no fears

Your words fall from you lips, dripping with bile

And spatter the floor at my side

Everything you scream, vicious and vile

But in here from you I can hide

I know you want to destroy me

I know I will fight back fiercely

I know you will be the one lonely

I know one day I will be free

You think you have won out

You think I am beat

But this is not a rout

Just a tactical retreat

One Day

I sit by the window

A wistful feeling

My battered heart

Still prepared to love

One day, I whisper

Love will come my way

I have the time

To sit and wait

Meanwhile

I sit by the window

And patiently pray

For One Day

Lying

Lying here propped on one elbow

Looking down at your sleeping form

I watch your eyes moving beneath your eyelids

What do you see?

Do you see the emotion in my face as we kiss?

Do you see how my heart aches when I look at you?

Do you see the changes you have made to me?

Do you see how my smile reaches my eyes?

Pulling the covers down

I gaze upon your beauty

The swell of your breasts

The curve of your stomach

Entranced I watch as you breathe

The gentle rise and fall of your chest

Your hair splayed upon the pillow

Your lips curved in a small crinkle threatening a smile

Dare I now push my luck . . . and the covers?

Uncovering you completely

Looking in wonder at your shape

You give this awesome sight to me freely

And allow me the freedom to live

I watch as your stomach falls into the same rhythm as your chest

And with a start I realise

My own breathing has met the same rhythm

It occurs that our lives have intertwined so much

That we now breathe the same air

Not in a physical sense any more

But in an emotional sense

We share so much

Every little touch

Every little sight

Every little breath

I lean on my elbow and gaze at your beauty

I smile as I remember the last few hours

Just how you feel in my arms

The smell of your skin

Tired from our exertions you fell asleep in my arms

Open and giving you showed me your charms

My heart aches for you to wake

Lying here propped on one elbow

I lie and wait

Patiently

Enjoying the sight of you

Waiting for you

In Your Arms

All of this pain will one day become a verbal landslide and I will cry

And when I am done I know I will be drained completely

So tired that I know I would fall asleep in your arms

But with a much lighter soul

Sleeping with a crinkle smile

Waiting for my body, soul and mind to recover

To wake up to a brand new day

And a spring in my step

The crinkle turned into a beaming smile

Leaving all the hurt behind

My heart soaring into the future

My chest no longer tight

Taking deep breaths of the oxygen starved from my life

Rejuvenated and alive again

The Smile on My Face

It started with such hope and tears of joy

Now it is my heart that weeps every day

Your smile twisted into a sneer and a snarl

The strident tones of anger that spill forth

The smile on my face is fixed to fool you

You can’t see the tears behind the facade

A molehill becomes another Everest to climb

And once again my heart sinks into my boots

Pulled this way and that by emotions

How can a heart so broken, be so full of love

The smile on my face is fixed to fool you

You can’t see the tears behind the facade

Hope does spring eternal in the human heart

But the miles from hurt to balm are many

My soul and spirit wonder at the task ahead

And look at what has gone before

The smile on my face is fixed to fool you

You can’t see the tears behind the facade

The pic fresh from the printer blurs into total incomprehension

As once again my eyes fill and then spill, leaving stains on the paper

The little lips pressed to my face with such unconditional love

Rip holes through my spirit and tear me apart with emotions

The smile on my face is fixed to fool you

You can’t see the tears behind the facade

To be surrounded by all this beauty

And to know that it came from spite

The sun is shining bright in a blue sky

But my blue heart is dark as night

The smile on my face is fixed to fool you

You can’t see the tears behind the facade

I have a box, a special box with a special key

It held my heart once before, and will do again

I keep the key safe, around my neck, on a chain, just long enough

To let it rest it’s warmth against the battered pump that is my heart

The smile on my face is fixed to fool you

You can’t see the tears behind the facade

The day will come when I can reach for the key again

But for now, I shall shut the box, and lock it safe from harm

With a sigh I turn the key, the box blurs as my eyes yet again fill

And then spill, leaving stains on the box, the key is slippery now

The smile on my face is fixed to fool you

You can’t see the tears behind the facade

With weariness I reach up over my head

And slip the chain into place, clasped at the back

I know not how long, it will stay there unused

But my heart knocks against my ribs, just to remind me

The smile on my face is fixed to fool you

You can’t see the tears behind the façade

You say You’re Fat

You say you have stretch marks

I say your kids are great

You say you have lines on your face

I say you have character and grace

You say your bum is too big

I say it fits in my hands

You say you need the gym to get into shape

I say your shape is just fine for me to love

You say you’re far too fat

I say it just means there are more of you to love

You say you’re old

I say you’re younger than me

You say you have wrinkles

I say I love the way your smile crinkles

You say you’re no longer attractive

I say let me judge that

You say everything’s heading south

I say I love the shape of your mouth

You list 50 things wrong with you

I list 50 that are right with you

You say how can you love me

I say because you are you

You say all of the above and more

I say just get yourself through that bedroom door

You say you’re skin is a mess

I say it doesn’t make me love you less

You say you want my opinion

I say this is the truth about you

You say your life is over and through

I say you are beautiful and I see the real you

You say you are insecure

I say I’m not so sure

You say do you still love me after all this time

I say nothing and wrap you gently in my arms

You say should I let my hair go grey

I say I love your look anyway

You say I’m feeling unhappy

I say you always make me smile

You say am I getting fat in the middle

I say you still fit into my embrace

You say that you are getting old

I say I can still see the inner gold

You say you think I need glasses

I say I don’t need glasses to see your beauty

You say you are no longer pretty

I say look in the mirror with me, see the woman without deformity

Shattered

The pieces lie scattered and shattered across the floor before me

If this was a mirror, it would be seven years bad luck

I have endured so many more years that that

I held the whole in my hands and tenderly caressed the shape

Seeing the wonders again that I thought were lost to me

Feeling deep inside the warmth that it can bring

The touch and the feel against my skin and in my heart so dear

I swear there were times when I could feel it so near

I know there were times when I felt the touch

How did this come to be in my life right now, when I needed it most

Helping me in my hour of need, and laying the ghost

But it was a two way street and I gave what I took

I stare forlornly at the shattered pieces scattered across the floor

And wonder if I have the heart to go for more

Yet, I know the answer to that question

The strength I got from the closeness and tenderness and truth

Has bolstered me, for now, and I know, beyond

These pieces are not broken

Just like a jigsaw, the picture can be made complete once more

But where did I put the lid with the image on it

I shall just have to use my memories

And oh what memories they are, how close we became, and we went so far

The words and the caring for each other mean so much

And I know now that me, the darkness cannot reclaim

The pieces lie scattered and shattered across the floor before me

As I watch you take flight and into the sky you soar

The tears on my face run down and into my smile

I can taste the salt in them, but it is not bitter on my lips

And even though it means you are no longer mine

The words of the song are so true in every way

The pieces lie scattered and shattered across the floor before me

But my memory is good and I am a patient man

I open the drawer and reach for the glue

Cast Adrift

Cast adrift on the raging sea

No sail to catch the wind and push me

A broken rudder offers no guidance

The night comes down like a dark blanket

Smothering my senses and blotting out the stars

And with it comes the cold, for the heat has left the day

The waves crash over me and soak me with their salt

Sometimes, I can see their approach and prepare

But prepared or not I am still swamped and cold

And there are the sneaky ones that come from nowhere

Smacking me hard and thrusting me to the deck

Knocking the breath from my lungs and leaving me gasping

No matter how hard I try, no matter which way I look

The constant battering gives me no respite

Exhausting my fragile body and blinded senses

There is no land that I can see, so safe landfall

There is no welcoming beach with sweet soft sand

Out here I know not how long the night will last

Drowned by the waves, and battered by the winds

The roller coaster ride seems to have no let up for me

My ship is lost somewhere out there in the night

Alone in this dark and violent maelstrom

Tossed this way and that

I close my eyes, and the tears come

The salt tastes better than the bitter sea

But that is little comfort to me now

I rail at the violent sea and sky

My voice is lost upon the wind

Screamed from my mouth

Carried away to die unheard in the void

I hope and pray for this storm to end

For this madness to relent

I fear I may be hoping in vain

Words upon a screen

Just words upon a screen I know

Typed today and tomorrow gone

Watching as my emotions leaking from my soul

Will it ever stop, or will I breathe no more for it to end

The wounds are deeper than ever before, cutting through me

Twisting and thrusting to my very core

Just words upon a screen I know

Typed today and tomorrow gone

Fleeting moments in time grasped eagerly

Enjoyed too much, or maybe not enough

Could it be that was all we ever had

I believed in so much more

Just words upon a screen I know

Typed today and tomorrow gone

Then why this pain, this incredible hurt

Tearing at my chest and ripping out my heart

Once it swelled with uncontrolled joy

It now lies shrivelled in despair

Just words upon a screen I know

Typed today and tomorrow gone

The anger and the rage rise like bile in my throat

Something needs to be hit and right bloody now

But I know that is futile and wastes my fragile spirit

The spirit I will need to recover from this torment

Just words upon a screen I know

Typed today and tomorrow gone

I reach out to touch you as I did before

But you’re not there, as you weren’t then

My hand lies empty, as does my heart

Bereft of hope, shrivelling with every beat

Just words upon a screen I know

Typed today and tomorrow gone

Once the world was bright and full of wonder

Now the darkness just closes in surrounding me

Threatening to envelope me once more

I hate that place as much as this pain

Just words upon a screen I know

Typed today and tomorrow gone

Where do these tears come from, I have cried so many

The well should be empty by now

How can I go on producing yet even more ?

My soul is like a desert, arid and lifeless

Just words upon a screen I know

Typed today and tomorrow gone

Xmas Tears

Eyes sparkling with delight at the bright colours

Twinkling Christmas lights reflected in them

Beaming smiles looking up with joy

Faces poking out from scattered wrappings

Squeals of excitement as every new gift is revealed

Unabashed pleasure at what Santa has brought

The joys of being a child at Xmas

And all the magic it seems to be

Oh to be so innocent again

Never to have to hide the pain

If heartbreak was only physical

A band aid would help

Detached from such unbridled joys

Seeing it all and yet, not

Tears running down the inside

Unseen on this day, but they are there

Tears of loss of pain

For those not here

And yet the pain can be dispelled

A hug, and a kiss thank you from a child

A happy little face pressed against yours

Sweet innocent little kisses of gratitude

And everything else pales into insignificance

The moment passes and the colours brighten again

A child’s joy banishing the grey

So easily washing the pain away

Changing the reason for the tears

Thank (insert deity here) for the children

Torn to shreds

Right about now, that is how I feel

My world lies in tatters at my feet

To Sleep

To lay my head on the pillow in peace

To sleep with no fear of what the night may hold

To let my eyes close with no tears

Seeping through my lashes making my face cold

To sleep and know I will dream

And not wake screaming from the fears

To not have to fear stretching out across the bed

To be able to reach out and touch a soft and receptive soul

To sleep and feel the true rest

To wake and feel that I am blessed

To open my eyes and see others shining back at me

Full of love and warmth and care

To know when I wake the love in my heart

Will be reflected and be yours to share

To sleep, never to wake again

Would that free me from this pain?

Thoughts of suicide in my head

Would I really be better off dead?

Oh yes, my own pain would be at an end

But what of the agony for you my friend

How much sorrow would I sow?

I’d not be here to know

So to sleep I now go again

Knowing tomorrow brings yet more pain

But my heart is strong, I feel it beating in my chest

I’ll open my eyes once more, and try again to do my best

To sleep and wake refreshed

That’s what I will do

And dream of the day when this is over

I try to be me

I try to be me, but it’s so hard right now

My soul is empty and my heart aches

Hiding behind my usual facade no longer works

It never does when frivolity is forced

Each smile, each joke, just accents the pain

The mess that I feel, the uselessness I fear

This feeling of despair and failure

Tears at every part of me

The loves that have departed from my heart

Then and now, rip into my very being

Making me question my every move

Making me wonder at life’s cruelties

Each time a little joy shines its light

I question, will it last, is it real

When will happiness once again I feel

Will I ever be free of this agony?

How long does this have to go on?

And how much more can one heart take

Each turn I consider leads to another dead end

Why has the sunshine departed from me?

Once, life was so full for me

Now, only fear and uncertainty

I sit in the dark and wonder why

Here it comes again, another time to cry

They say there is a light at the end of the tunnel

Why then, do I feel like I’m in a funnel?

My life spiralling down into nothing

What will I become, what will I leave behind?

All I have is my art and my words

Some legacy that, some gift for the world !

My inner strength ebbs away like the tide

The determination left like flotsam on the sand

My friends wonder where I went

On self-destruction I seem hell bent

And yet I force a smile, a funny gag

But deep inside I know I am the joke

My Son, we are Friends

Seventeen years you were in my head

And the same again and more in my life

All those years of longing and wishing

All those years of nurture and care

For nought, without a thought

You stab me in the back

All the times I covered for you

All the times I took the blame

And now with a word or two

You plant me squarely in the frame

Protect yourself with silence and lies

And stand aside with a grin on your face

You watch as I crumble under your words

Every syllable a dagger through my heart

You continue on as though nothing has changed

As my heart disintegrates into dust

My only reason for all the pain I have endured

And you sit there, to my pain anew, inured

The pain I never ever thought I’d feel

You crushed me under your heel

As I sit here writing this with my face awash with tears

You lie in your bed not caring of the hurt you caused

I know that with a little time and reflection

You may understand the sadness in my eyes

And I know your soul is truly good

You will see and make amends

And I will take you in my arms

And say, “My son, we are friends”

It Ain’t a Sin

It ain't a sin to make a fire with a log
nor to sit with a glass of wine upon a rug

to want you in my arms
to sit and gaze at your charms

It ain't a sin to drink in your every curve
to feel your beauty in my every nerve

your body caressed with my eyes
our wanting has no time for lies

to touch your skin with my fingers
to kiss you and let my lips linger

to want your hands upon my skin
to want and desire you pulling me right in

to watch as your nipples crinkle and stiffen
because I kiss and breathe gently on them

to watch as your face flushes with desire
and to know that the heat is not just from the fire

feeling the temperature as it starts to rise
and see the desire burning in your eyes

for the fire within rekindled X X X

Kriss Lee 20/10/2012

Heartstrings

Dedicated to my homeland

when it's all over and done

take what's left and with care

cast it to the sea to carry me

let it drift with the wind outward

to look back at a homecoming view

with a happy heart it will come to rest

settling gently in the place it all began

Kriss Lee 22/10/2012

Pic by the Awesome Chris George

‎

#LoveGuernsey.'The Golden Hour'.

Incredible light over St Peter Port this evening. Never ceases to amaze!

For more 'Pic Of The Day' click here:

http://chrisgeorgephotography.dphoto.com/#/album/cbc2cr

SweetLips

You said you wouldn't

I never thought we would

But that moment of hesitation

Wiped away by the gentle brush

Of lip on lip, mouth on mouth

Moving toward acceptance apace

The warmth of your sweet embrace

Our arms enfolding us both

As we abandoned all pretence

To give in to the inevitable

To feel you pressed against me

In response to my kisses

Watching your half closed eyes

As the emotions take us

Too long for either of us it's been

You called me sweetlips

Told me I kissed so tender

You brought that out in me

The passion tempered with care

That moment we both took the dare

Kriss Lee

06/11/12

Model Ida Aasebøstøl

Cherished Freedom

Allowed to let go, relax and just "Be" in the moment, no need to "Be" aware

Safe enough to fall asleep without bad dreams,

Wrapped in arms that cherish and hold, not restrain,

To wake up and hear another’s breath without fear

To allow a head to rest against your heart, no worries of it being crushed

Lose the Dress

There’s a gap in my arms where you belong

There’s a voice missing from my song

There is something about a dress

Me, you don't need to impress

You say you want to go on a date

For that I wouldn’t dare to be late

You say you are concerned about your weight

Nothing compared to the years I had to wait

All the years spent missing you

When I could have been kissing you

You make me Cry

You make me cry

I think of you and the tears threaten

To spill down my face and cascade to the floor

I see your face in my mind

And my chest heaves unable to absorb air

Shuddering with the effort just to breathe

I see your smile

The lovely little crinkle as it forms

And know that the world will be alight when it does

I see the way you walk

And my legs fold beneath me

No strength to hold me upright

I see the shape of you

Silhouetted in the doorway

I know every inch of your stunning beauty

I hear your voice

So soft and gentle in my ears

But through the tears I am unable to smile

I read the words

Imprinted on my brain

The tears, like rain, start to flow

I see your joy

The succour it provides, so small

And know I have no place in it

I see all this

And yet my love burns undimmed

Fly free my love and soar into the skies

17/05/2011

Right Now

Right now you are making me want to grab you and smother you with kisses

I will be soft and gentle and let you feel the tenderness within me

I will allow you to slow down and gather your thoughts and feelings

Of course I can't keep my hands out of this, and I stroke your hair

Feeling it glide through my fingers and watching it cascade onto your shoulders

Those shoulders with your hair on them are inviting my caress

This leads to me getting close to your face, and smelling your perfume

Your shampoo gazing into your eyes as the distance closes

North and South

You do know that I love the way you use your mouth
the sideways talk and the smile dancing across your face
I look at you and want to be in your embrace
and kiss your sweet soft lips North and South

Multitude

A multitude of many armed metal monsters

Marching across many miles of moor and marshland

Falling Deeper

I can't get you outta my head

At night alone in my bed

I see you asleep and calm

Your tousled hair cascades across the pillow

Like waves upon a shore it moves with you

The perfume of our love lingers in the air

Your face now so peaceful

Just a short while ago

So animated with desire

We rode along the currents of our passion

Until we both are too spent for more

Sprawling across the bed in sated fatigue

Sheets crumpled and cast aside bedraggled

Clothes scattered in a trail from the front door

Where this moment started with a kiss hello

Then a deep and tender kiss of honest love

Leading to a handful of butt dragged

Up close and personal in a growing desire

Hands in hair and reaching inside clothes

Feeling the parts that are desperate for a touch

Your nipples stiffening with my touch and desire

Hardening in your greedy grasp

Hands down jeans and feeling heat

Lace knickers drawn to one side

And then down your legs, with the aroma of you

Filling my nose and driving me to dive right in

Tasting your desire on my tongue as you pull me in

Your wetness spreading on my face

Too late for niceties now I lay you down

There in the hall, there on the floor

Raising my head long enough to lose my shirt

And even more exciting long enough for you to grab

Pulling me back in to your open and willing embrace

Your hands in my hair, pulling me up to kiss my wet face

We stagger towards the bed losing the last of clothes along the way

I watch as your sweet butt moves in front of me

Enticing me to follow, increasing the heat I feel

Watching you as I harden like never before

Noting the delight in your eyes as you see

The power you hold over me with your beauty

Fills my chest to bursting point, so hard to breathe

My joy at being with you makes my eyes overflow

To have reached this point in life for us both

Was destined, of that I am so sure, so certain

You know it too I can see it in your eyes

As once more we fall into each other’s passion

Your warmth enveloping me with wet desire

Driving deep inside and feeling you close tight on me

Falling Deeper into your embrace

I know how sweet your kisses are

And give them all back to you

Watching the excitement in your eyes as I drive you to the brink

Feeling the tremors and quivering of your passions deep inside

Exploding on me as your eyes snap open wide to see my smile

You see my joy at your pleasure in my eyes

My heart aches with the beauty of this moment

As you reach up to kiss me with warm wet sweetlips

Everything I do, comes back to you . . .

I know how sweet your kisses are . . .

Falling Deeper . . .

Smitten

Oh my days I am smitten

You fit me like a glove, or a mitten

You make me all soft and fluffy, like a kitten

Oh my days I am smitten

Fling

When you can still hear someone's voice when they're not there

That's not a fling

When their perfume lingers in your nostrils on a windy day

That’s not a fling

When you can still feel their hand in yours as you walk the street alone

That’s not a fling

When you can still taste their lips on yours after you brush your teeth

That’s not a fling

When just the thought of them makes your heart sing

That’s not a fling

When the hours spent apart seem like years

That’s not a fling

When the first thought in your head as you wake is them

That’s not a fling

When the last thought in your head as you drift off to sleep is them

That’s not a fling

When there is a trail of scattered clothes across the floor and loud screams coming from the Kitchen table amid a mess of uneaten and forgotten food with upended chairs littering the floor because of the need to get naked and down to the business of having rampant sex right bloody now

THAT'S a Fling

Why

Unbidden the tears fall from my eyes

No rhyme no damn reason at all

What triggered this sudden despair?

I am not sad, I am not broken hearted

So why can I not control this flow

There are no dark thoughts in my head

Whirling through my brain

I do not miss the love of my life

For she is not gone

Why then do I feel this way and cry?

I Know

I know you will break my heart

I know you won't mean to hurt

I know it will wreck me for years to come

I know the pain will not recede

I know the walls will go up again

I know I will cry yet more tears

I know once more I will watch as love walks away from me and

I know that I will yet again learn to cope

A Song in my Head

All day rattling around in my brain

And rolling around in my mouth

Dancing across my lips

Feeling it shape itself on my tongue

The lingering taste of you

Awakening my senses with a bang

I am so glad I asked you

It has its own melody

And all day has been singing its song

It reminds me of West Side Story

And the song about meeting

So now I know your name

Flustered

Flustered, a cross between Flattered and Lusted

I realise now you were just flattered

And Lust played its part on you too

It wasn't just my face your sweetlips touched

You reached deep inside and awoke my heart

For me I predicted how this would end

My heart battered again, yet this time prepared

There never was going to be room in your heart for me

So many doors locked tight, so many things in the way

I have no regrets and walk away upright and calm

No wailing and gnashing of teeth for me

Yes I hurt for I love you deeply

And no matter how brief the flight

I spread my wings and soared with joy

And you did too, I saw it in your eyes

But I saw the doubts there too flickering

Like someone hiding in the Shadows

And so it slowly fades into nothing

Leaving behind our original friendship

We will smile and hug when we meet

And no one will ever guess at the hurt

You never fell like me

You were just flattered

And lust played its part too

But like a candle it burned down

It’s easier this way, no huge row

No big showdown or recriminations

No long drawn out weeping and crying

Just let it drift gently away

I told you I would walk away

But you will always make me smile

When I see you my breath will still hitch

But I'll keep that inside, away from you

See you next week my friend (I love you)

Under the Desert Stars

The stars above us floating

Reminding us how small we are

Letting us know how big we are

You and I, the size of the planet

I'd love to see the light in your eyes

As our lips touch and the passion flows

I want to be the man who you trust enough to kiss

I want you to want me and not be scared of my touch

My hands caressing your neck

And following the curve of your shoulder

Running my hands through your hair

Feeling the silky strands on my fingers

Under the desert stars cuddling close and warm

On a blanket you and I to feel you this way

Circling your waist with my arms to draw into my embrace

Feeling your arms around me holding me tight with desire

To look into your eyes and see your want in them

And I want to stroke that gorgeous butt

Running my hands over the sweet curves

Making me want you more than I already do

I want to feel your breath on my skin

And smell the aroma of your hair

I want to make love with you

Under the desert stars

To lie on a blanket with you

Warm inside from sharing our desire

Safe in the knowledge that is real

No need for fear no need to run and hide

As the sun descends into night

The warmth of the day replaced

By the warmth of our love

Wrapped together under the desert stars

Couplets

We Come To Love Not By Finding the Perfect Person,

But by learning To See an Imperfect Person Perfectly

Nobody looks good in the light of a Chandelier

But you break this rule my beautiful dear

Musings

Your body / face is the flame that sets my soul on fire

Day after Week, after Month, after Year

Is there Life Before Death ?

Veni, vidi, visa - I came, I saw, I shopped!

Cafe olé .... Spanish coffee

How can I tell you

How much I'll miss you

If you won't go away

Ponderings

If you were a sea I'd swim you,

If you were a bridge I'd cross you,

If you were a whistle I'd . . . never mind.

The old man's head raised in gentle supplication

Set to catch the dying embers of the day

The last light bathing his face with gold

Giving hope for tomorrows coming dawn

My hands caressing your neck

Not squeezing your throat

Running my fingers through your hair

Not grabbing it to pull you around

Cold Snap

Walking hand in hand that night

Never had it felt so right

Your fingers curled through mine

I thought we had crossed a line

Our breath a mist on the cold night air

Your lips brushing mine with a touch so fair

Stopped beneath a tree your arms enfolding me

The joy of your caress setting my heart free

Hair

Why do I feel empty and lost

We never started

We stumbled and stuttered

So why does it hurt

The anticipation, the excitement

Futile I know

But you cut right through me

Into my soul

Every day the expectation of your message

Not meant to be

Deflated and disappointed me

But you are more

Your life is meant to be safe

And oh so normal

I never meant to harm you

Nor would I

You are deep in my soul

And my heart

And there you will stay

Forevermore

You Remind Me

You remind me that there is a man in here

You are making me warm inside again

And driving out the bitter cold winds

The maelstroms of bile and hate

That have swept across my soul

Being driven aside and pushed away

Letting the light and warmth back in

Looking into your Eyes

To wake up looking into your eyes

The scent of us in the air

The warmth of us

No need for sheets

The feel of your skin on mine

I can feel you in my soul

Curled up safe in there

My emotion like blankets

Wrapped you like a babe in arms

To wake up and see your eyes

Looking back at me knowing

That the night before had been one of beautiful lovemaking

To make love with you is truly awesome

To know every beautiful inch of your body

To kiss every beautiful inch of your body

To watch your eyes widen with desire

To feel you accept me and draw me in

To share our desires and wants

To feel that tired that can only come from the letting go

To wallow in the beauty of us

To enjoy the depth of feeling we share

Oft I wondered

Oft wondered if you thought of me

The special bond we shared

The instant connection, so strong

The amazing chemistry

Your smile stayed with me through the years

The sparkle in your eyes when we kissed

The way your lips would curl into a grin

And then that sweet tinkling giggle in my ears

The tingle down my spine when you were near

The way you fit so perfectly in my arms

The charge in the air between us, sparking

And all the missing you down the years

Always hiding my desire, so sad but true

Not being able to say what I felt, you weren't mine to have

To step away and hold it all back

I had to watch someone else kiss you

And then from the blue, the years just fell away

You came to me once more, with that smile

From nought to rekindle in a moment, just a click

Special then, and special now, I hope you're back to stay

I know the miles between us are a bind

And I know that you are you, and I am me

Our lives so different now, so far apart

But seeing your smile again, I don't mind

The friendship we had

Always so good

The lifting of our hearts

Once again makes me glad

I'm just glad you're (virtually) here again

And sporadic though it may be

To chat and see your sweet face my love

I always did, and I always will X X

Shut Up

I despise you for this

Never in all of my life

Have I wished someone dead

Now you are taking the piss

You’ve never been a wife

You’ve just fucked with my head

To make me sink so low

Drag me down to the gutter

Your level, not mine, you evil witch

Dirty lowdown blow by blow

Smiling like your mouth won't melt butter

I'm really fucking done with your evil you bitch

Your pretence to the world of being so sweet

How you care for your kids with a heart of gold

Your cutesy little, little giggle and smile

Your death right now would be a treat

Stuck deep in the ground and going cold

Over broken glass for that, I'd walk a mile

Newsflash, shock, horror, this isn't your year

All of your shit cast around is coming back

Hypocrite, when opposed, I hear you cry

I shall kick back and smile at your fear

You play the saint, but trust, your future now is black

All that’s left is to run and hide,

or better yet shut the fuck up and die

Balcony

A big balcony with a sunset view,

Music drifting up from a bar somewhere below,

Wine and nibbles from room service,

Sprawled naked on a chaise longue,

As the sun finally disappears into the sea

So do me deep inside your sweet embracing warmth,

You sucking me deeper in

The look in your eyes one of pure wanton desire,

Your fingers digging into my skin as you pull me closer,

Our mouths meet and lips open

To allow the penetration of tongues matching the penetration below

Children

Despite the pain they give

They are everything

You lose your own

And give everything

To make their future

It’s been so long

I can't remember when

To wake and feel your butt pressed to me

Soft against the hard morning gift

I reach out and touch

You don't pull away

Nor spit vile words

You pressed closer

I nuzzled into your neck

And reached down to caress

Your legs gently parted

The softness of you was in my hand

The hardness of me was pressing into you

I felt you open to accept me

And felt that sweetness of

Being enveloped by wet warmth

I looked into your eyes and you said . . .

can I hear that boy . . . . Does he have football today ?

I Can't Wait

I can't wait

To see you

Expectation

Frustration

I know you're sweet

I want to taste

To See

To Touch

To Savour

Every inch

Show me

Let me

Appreciate

Your beauty

The Helper

How I want to be there with you right now

Kissing your gorgeous face

Holding you in my arms watching you play

Watching the way your breasts move

In rhythm with your hand

Seeing your eyes glisten with the desire

Hearing your breath quicken

My hardness pressed against your side

You can feel the effect you are having on me

Leaking onto your skin

Your legs splayed wide allowing you to reach

And allowing me to watch I kiss you again

As your fingers slide inside once more

Your breathing increases as does mine

In synch we both approach your moment

Together locked in this dance of love

You stiffen and gasp a sharp intake of breath, the warning

You arch up off the bed and into my arms

I hold you tight in love's sweet embrace

Your eyes flicker open and shut

A moan escapes your mouth just as I kiss your lips

I inhale your moan and share your pleasure

At rest you open your eyes

As tears of pure emotion fall from mine

Landing on your face and running into your mouth

You taste my feelings for you

Looking

I keep looking at you

So sweet, so beautiful

So desirably delicious

So deliciously desirable

So Beautiful So sweet

I keep looking at you

But that's not it

I can still see the you,

From back then,

But I can also see now,

What I should have seen then

For it wasn't disguised very well,

It was always just beneath the surface,

Like a goldfish in a murky pool,

You catch a glimpse now and again

Through the water,

But when the pool has been cleaned

I see you're not a goldfish,

You’re a piranha

I love you

I love how your lips move when you talk

I love how you move when you walk

I love how you care so much for me

I love how beautiful you are

I love how your eyes shine

I love how you turn me on

I love how you laugh

I love how you smile

I love you to bits

I love you too

I love you

Sagging

My spirits were sagging,

Hiding behind the smile

You stopped the decline

With your wonderful soul

You raise me back up

Make me alive again

Restored my self-belief

Ramnaugh

This bear of a man with a chuckle like an earthquake was my Grandfather in law

He was a pleasure to be around, always a kind word, and a gentle smile for the kids

The world is a sadder place without him, but it’s a better place for him being in it

Motel 6

They both made mistakes

They both knew this

They both wanted each other

They both had to be careful

He was fed up being belittled

He found her so attractive

He saw so much love in her

He needed that love in his life

She had spent so long a drudge

She was flattered beyond belief

She felt so good from his attentions

She started to soar like a bird

They crossed the world for each other

They took that huge risk

They knew it would only be the once

They went Five star and sod the price

He could not believe his eyes

He felt that he was finally blessed

He felt her touch on his skin

He could feel her in his heart

She said, for them nothing but the best

She said no to Motel 6, The Hampton

She said they deserved for their tryst

She said let's get a Porsche

They spent the night in bliss

They enjoyed the drinks in the Jazz bar, and

They loved the swankery of the room

They knew it was just this once

He drank in her beauty with his eyes

He watched as she crossed the room

He held her in his arms so tight

He knew he'd never forget this night

She knew the finery she wore worked

She felt his eyes on her, and his arms

She had waited so long for this moment

She knew how fleeting this was

They made love with each other all night

They lay there sated and tired

They were so right together right now

They went their separate ways next morning

I can still taste your mouth

You opened the door and our eyes met

It had been so long since last we looked

But the time melted away as you came into my arms

Your hands on my back drawing me in to kiss

My hands in your hair feeling its silkiness

Your skin so soft beneath my fingertips

Pulling back to look into each other’s eyes

The sparkle of joy twinkling in both sets

This is right, this is where we belong

Sitting here calm and comfortable with you

Watching you move as you crossed the room

So sweet and lithe, I had almost forgotten your grace

Your backward glance and the grin on your face

You knew what I was thinking my breath Hitched

Is it just me or is getting warmer in here

How can just sitting chatting be so hot

It can't be so long ever again

I knew I missed you, but how much

Was such a surprise, the warmth of you

It killed me when I had to leave

I can still taste your mouth

I can still smell your perfume

I can still feel you in my arms

I can hardly wait for the next time

Hello

I say hello to you every day

But you no longer reply

That breaks my fragile heart

And I just sit and cry

I say hello to you every day

And talk about the fools we were

How sadly now it's gone away

The memories now all become a blur

I say hello to you every day

And talk about so many things

I tell you what I'm doing now

And open up with all my feelings

I say hello to you every day

With almost a nonchalance

But my breath hitches and stutters

As yet again there's no response

I say hello to you every day

With an aching deep in my heart

Knowing no answer will come

So long it's been this way, now we're apart

I say hello to you every day

But there’s no reply, all I hear is Myself

With these trembling old hands

I replace your Urn upon the shelf

Flower

You are like a fragile flower to me

I will never pluck you from the ground

Nor remove even one petal

I will always treat you with kindness and tender care

So that I can enjoy your beauty for years to come

Anchored

Like a ship at sea,

Sheltering from a storm,

Hiding in the lee of the island of calm,

Anchored here awaiting

The furious tempest's abating

Impaled

I want to impale you on my hardness

I want to cuddle you

I want to sit and chat with you

I want to share your day over a glass of wine

I want to be enveloped in you

I want to reach out and touch you gently

I want to share sweet moments with you

I want to hold you in my arms

I want to spend time with you

I want to walk along the seashore with you

I want to make sweet gentle love with you

Whispered I love you's

A gentle stroke of your neck,

A kiss on your head as I pass by

Reaching up your skirt

To stroke the sweet curve

Of your butt meeting your leg

Running my fingers

Up the inside

Of your gorgeous thighs

Resting my head on your breasts

Whispered I love you's

Against your heart

And revelling in your warmth

The thought of your tender touch

On my skin

Makes me want to drink you

Right in

In you

Smelling you

Touching you

Feeling you

Devouring you

Tasting you

Penetrating you

In you

With you

Ribs

Just to hold you tight

To smell your hair

To feel your warmth

To feel your heartbeat

Against my ribs

Pedestal

You shall not be castigated for your association with me,

But held upon a pedestal to receive the adulations and

Adoration you so richly deserve

Coda

Be still, crazy drum solo of heartbeat

Distraction

And I would venture gently through

The openness invitation enough

The acceptance of this moment

From us both, means so much

I drink in every nuance of your face

I am in awe of your desire for me

Dream of a gentle breath so light

Whispering down your neck tonight

Dream of a tender kiss upon skin

And then a gentle breath

Blowing softly across your Nipple

Watch as it crinkles at the touch

Of my breath and deep love

Feel it connecting to your heart

And soul, increasing the emotion

Feel as I move up toward your face

And gently upon your lips, mine I place

Honey I would be all up on you kissing

Every beautiful inch of your sweet body

And stroking you gently feeling

Your soft skin under my fingertips

Tracing every contour of you

Exploring all the hills and valleys

Tenderly making you come alive in my hands and

Driving you to distraction

With every caress of my desire for you

Private Space

Your hair cascading down over my face,

Creating our very own private space,

Surrounded by you,

All I can see is that beautiful face

Above me, filling my vision

I feel you shift

And your breasts come into focus,

The sweet weight of them resting

On, my face, accepting them

Their feel, as they move slowly

Further up, until my mouth

Can taste and savour them,

The stiffness of your nipples

Between my teeth,

The pressure from them

As you succumb to the pleasure

My tongue applies to you,

Again I feel you shift

The warmth coming from you,

No! The HEAT coming from you

Moves slowly up my belly,

As your breasts depart my mouth,

I watch them gently swaying

As you move further up,

The heat is sliding over my chest,

My own nipples like bullets,

My anticipation skyrockets,

So hot, right now, on me,

And then your sweet aroma

Enters my nose, you drive me wild

And then . . . . . almost there you pause . . . .

I am filled with nothing but you,

Your most intimate secret

Is my entire world,

Nothing else matters, nor moves,

Time stands still, Silence reigns,

Even my breathing has stopped

As yours has too, Poised on the brink,

This is the moment, do or die

The connection will be complete,

This one act of desire, of tenderness

Between one spirit,

Residing within two bodies

Is encompassed in this one moment,

The most gentle and accepting

Act of passion and love . - - - - - - - - - - T.B.C

Begin the Dance

Stroking your hair in your sleep,

Watching you at rest,

Peaceful easy breaths,

The rise and fall of your chest

Catches my eye and I notice

We have fallen into a matching rhythm

Breathing together almost as one

Remembering your tender kisses

And the way you touched me

Smelling the lovely of you

As I lay here with you in my arms

Feeling the warmth of your skin

On mine the soft silkiness of you

Making me want you again

Wanting to feel you enfolding me

In your beautiful warm embrace

The memory stirs me again

But you look so serene

I can't disturb you now nor soon

I return to watching you at rest

And fold myself back into the spoon

Patiently I lie here now so calm, at peace

Sleep on my beautiful Woman

I will be here when you wake

I will be waiting to feel you stir

To begin the dance again

If you fell

If you fell I would take your hand, and kiss away the tears

Hold you in my arms so tenderly and rid you of the fears

Pick you up and help you back on your feet

Hold you tight till you were good again my sweet

Why am I sitting here?

Nervous as a kitten

My heart in my throat

I keep checking for replies

Expectantly waiting

Wanting to see your words

Wanting to see your face

To chat and laugh again

So much fun and games

The range and depth

Appealing to my soul

Why am I sitting here?

Because I want you

Parental Guidance

Fuck Me

I want you to scream "Fuck me" and mean it,

I want you to shake and shudder as I make love WITH you

I want you to beg me to never stop

I want to watch as your eyes widen as you come and then

Screw shut with the explosion deep inside you

And then I will come

Pushing so deep and hard into your soaking wet pussy

Filling you up with all that hot cum

My cock twitching and throbbing as I pump you full of my desire

My balls slammed tight against your butt

And then to just stay there

Our very own personal cocktail

Slowly slipping out and over my balls

The sweet smell of our loving in the air

Arms embracing legs tangled eyes locked emotions meshed

That's how I want you

First date.

Call and Response piece,

The first line is the prospective date the second is the dater’s response

The first date is coming and what should I wear?

That day is coming and what should I wear

Should I leave it curly or straighten my hair?

Should I tie it back or leave it loose or dye my hair ?

What about footwear, I know you wear crocs,

I wonder about heels, hers not mine, should I wear silver crocs

Should I bowl up in mine with a pair of red socks?

What if she turns up in 18 lace hole Docs ?

I'll make sure my hands are soft to the touch,

Will her skin be warm and soft when I reach out and touch

My makeup, how much is too little, how little too much?

Moisturiser, and wrinkle cream, Bloody hell to do so much

What should I say after "Hello, how are you?"

How do I respond when she says Hello how are you

Where shall we go? What shall we do?

Which answer, what now, kiss, smile what do I do

First impressions are important or so they say,

First impressions matter, wear pink ? Will she think I'm gay

But we've been close for ages, since the very first day.

Nah my beautiful babe knows me better than that I'd say

When you look in my eyes I hope you like what you see.....

When I look in her eyes I just know I will like what I see

I know what I'll do......

I hope she doesn't act or try too hard

I'll just be me!!

I hope she's just her, then I can be me X X

Sneak

Sneak up on you from behind

Cup your boobs in my hands

Your butt pushed back on me

My breath on your neck

As I bend down to plant a kiss

On the back of your ear

To hold you so tight and dear

No need for sex in this moment

But a need for each other

And the contact cementing that need

The emotional bond so strong

Darkness from night

Just a few words

My whole day

Becomes much brighter

My mood sails into the sky,

My heart swells

I know my life has got better

You came to me so right

Took the darkness from the night

Put a smile on my face

Call Me

We spoke all night

The sun rose on us

Subjects ranged

So far and wide

And stayed so

So close to home

We told our fears

Our future hopes

And our dreams

It seems to us

They are the same

The words flowed

And never ran out

And still in the end

We had yet more

More to say and do

We spoke all night

The sun rose on us

You’re You

You’re you

That’s all you do

All you

Need to do

No longer blue

I've got you

Who woulda knew

Words, just a few

All you need to do

And my heart flew

My old life Adieu

Another life anew

Bliss to look to

Oh my what new

Delights to view

Our feelings so true

You’re you

That’s all you do

All you

Need to do

Groined

Groined

It's like being joined at the hip

But way more fun

Smile

That's why we make each other smile so much

That's why we will be an awesome pair

That's why we are not the common touch

That's why our outlook now is so fair

Classless as Fuck

No matter how I try, the hurt just comes again

I set you free with no recriminations at all

You had my blessing to move on and be happy

Even though it was not needed, I gave it you

I asked for so little from you in return

Just some respect for my life, my feelings,

My emotions now so raw since I died

You care not a jot for my health

Don't push it in my face I said

Keep it at a distance I asked

I don't need to know what happens

Just go on and live your life

You and he have no place in my day to day

And I asked for you to keep it that way

It’s enough that I know it is there

It’s enough to know that you no longer care

But OH no not you, only one thought in your head

You care so little if I live or if I'm dead

Classless as fuck and careless of others too

You sit in his car outside our house so lovey dovey you two

He’s bringing your ticket

Or that's what you said

Kissing and snogging in plain view

Sat there his hands on your head

The smug grins when he calls

The smug grins as you leave

The smug grins on the phone

Wallpaper so big and so bold

So fucking pompous that you know it all

The truth is it's like talking to a brick wall

Your mistakes and foul lies that led us to this place

But that you won't admit to for fear of losing face

And now it's just bitterness and bile

Every day and all the while

You sneer and you snarl and not just at me

You snap and growl at our kids too,

Innocent though they be

All that is in your mind now

Is the next call, the next date

Get dressed quick don't be late

You are classless as fuck you cow

You say you're such a good Mum

I say you're actually a bum

Yeah you cook and you clean

I can do that too without the big scene

All and sundry around you, you belittle

Even the ones you call your friends

All nice and sugar sweet to their face

But behind their backs such a twist,

Your words and language a disgrace

Constantly attacking me for every little thing

Picking on this, nagging on that,

Yelling for those, screaming for them

Nothing is ever right for you

But who is the bandula one

Dodgy this, sneaky that

Cheapo those, Free some of them

Saving ten quid on this

Costing forty on that

You can't see that pulling every stunt

Doesn’t mean that you are clever

I tried to teach you from forever

It just makes you a cheapskate cunt

Vilified by you all of our married life

No matter how I tried

No matter what I did

You just never wanted me,

You never were a wife

Everything revolves around you

Does it this way, do it that will you

It doesn't matter what we do

Nothing’s ever good enough for you

It's over and done now for good

You made this mess, this bed

Lie in it, like you lied to it

I've seen through you now

And others are seeing the light

The dawn of your unmasking

Is just beyond the horizon

I can't wait for the sunrise

The bright revealing light

With its own harshness

Exposing all of your lies

And leaving you open and bare

Where will you run to this time

I know who it will be you seek

But even he will discover the truth

As you let your mask slip with familiarity

When your house of cards

Lands squarely on your head

Do not expect me to pick them up

Don’t expect me to shuffle

So cute and pretty with a fab smile

A body to die for so trim and fit

But here's one thing you need to know

Ugly inside just means you are UGLY

Inside I cry

Inside I cry and cuddle up to my pain

Inside I cry and huddle hiding again

Inside I cry and puddle my tears into the drain

Standstill

The air in my chest stops

No breath can be taken

You stand naked before me